November 11, 2009 The Waiting Is the Hardest Part, Part 2 by Jon Walker "Now the serpent . . . said to the woman, 'Did God really say, You must not eat from any tree in the garden?'" (Genesis 3:1 NIV).

(This guest devotional is by Jon Walker, author of 'Growing with Purpose,' and editor of the Purpose Driven Life On-line Devotionals) And so Sarai took it upon herself to fulfill the promise, no longer trusting God to do his job. The waiting is the hardest part, and Sarai was tired of the wait. Sitting in a humid tent, she heard the support poles creak; she heard, through the open flaps, a camel snort; and she heard . . . was that a voice, like the hiss of a serpent, saying, "Did God really say your husband would be the father of a family so vast it would surpass the number of stars in the sky?" (Consider Genesis 3). Perhaps Sarai said, "God can, but he won't." Or maybe she said, "God can't figure this out, but I can." Looking through the tent's door, she saw her servant Hagar, and in that moment she saw the solution, though she didn't see the Pandora's box she would soon open. Perhaps she even thought, "Of course! This is probably the answer God meant for me to see all along." Sarai believed her assumptions more than she believed God's promise. She wondered why God was no longer on her side--"Why is the LORD keeping this from me?"--instead of confessing she was no longer one with God's will. Ask God to help you identify the places in your life where you're saying, "The LORD is keeping this from me!" God's interest is that you master the lessons of faith. He wants you to succeed, able to walk further in faith each day. So failure is not defeat; he will continue to teach you--and stretch you--until walking by faith and not by sight is as natural as breathing. Tell God, "I believe; help my unbelief!"

ohmygoodness..I really just in awe right now of God.
And I guess only you will know what I'm talking about here,
other than God Himself of course. But wow.
This. is too amazing.
Thank You Lord for your mercy, and being slow to anger and understanding
my point of weakness.
Thank You so so much, Your timing indeed is perfect, beyond comprehension.

today was awesooooooomeeee.

after the drag of practising piano,
it was time for me to FINALLY GO OUT JUST FOR FUN.
had a gooood subway lunch. and no, it wasn't just the food that was good.
then it was to the dentist for me.
I really really hate the dentist. scared to death of it man.
and had to go on my own some more today cos dear buvan had hockey.
aye it hurt like crap. so so bad. till she finally decided to give me two jabs to numb the pain.
and stop me cringing every two seconds too i suppose.
once that was over. well. THANK GOD. my whole body got to relax at last.

then came the awesomeawesomee shopping with Jess(:
SO GLAD WE GOT TO HANG OUT AT LAST LOVE.
she'd already bought some stuff from vivo and was broke by the time she met me hahah,
see how shopping-deprived JC makes you.
we went to ion and i got a little bit more familiarised with the area (hahah yes otherwise i'll just be stuck
in little ol' woodlands man)
bought two pairs of shoes and a jacket(finally!)
i still find it so funny when ppl speak in malay (the salesguys where i bought the jacket) and don't know that i know what they're saying.
they just go on happily talking la, its amusing. one day i will just inject a line of malay or reply them in malay just to see the reaction, heh.
most satisfying shopping trip ever i should so do this more often haha.
yes and i seem to like grey for now.
and ohmygoodness we saw SHE (so ungrammatical it should be HER right jess).
it was so retarded we were standing there like clowns. just for the sake of it.
I was most intrigued by the bodyguards though.
Never seen actual huge bodyguards in real life. never ever. so that was quite cool.
i mean, they're HUGE man. hahah i was just so amazed that they actually existed in this shape in real life.

later on we went to eat loads of random stuff + orange julius (apparently papa loved this amma mentioned once long ago
i remember for some reason).
and i really really wanted to go check out the binoculars at this IT-ish sale place just for fun but jess refused to go with me and the
salesguys were forever around so we just didnt go in the end. hahha i mean, who'd buy binoculars right? other than for like. bird-watching or smth.



really had a great time with you today woman, it's been awhile. And I was so worried we'd grown apart somehow, with AC and all, but today showed that we hadn't and I just know we won't even though sometimes it may FEEL like we have. love you soo much and i think you're lovely shopping company too! we will do this again kayyy or go play wii at your place or something. thanks so much for spending today with me, you've no idea how much it meant.

Bible study at night with the friday girls was lovely as always, it's gonna be a packed weekend ahead once again but it'll be good i know. hopefully there'll be more photos too(:
and yes slowly i'll be able to navigate around different places better hahah and not get so frazzled when i'm doing random errands(;
night all<3

Trust.
This's been on my mind today.
The feeling of someone trusting you on a whole new level is just amazing to me.
Yeah.
The look in their eyes. The silent understanding that can somehow tell everything.
Everything the two people need to know.
It is very amazing indeed.
Yes I'm in one of those simply gazing into the distance and thinking moments.
Lovely, aren't they?

--

Hahah and Buvan's crazy good at picking up Hindi man.
Before this i just used to accept the fact that he knew random words or phrases.
But now, respect man.
when he ended of the conversation with 'bye' and i said 'DONT SAY BYE, NIGHT.' (cos
i just have this thing about goodbyes), instead of replying 'ok, night',
he said: khabi alvida nah kehna
it means 'don't ever say goodbye' apparently.
hahah so instant. then he said another line later on tooo.
hahah i'm in AWE man.

--

yes, and I also love it when people are deep enough in a relationship, a friendship in particular,
for EVERYTHING the other person wants to say to matter. Even if they say it doesn't matter initially
and just brush it aside, the other person'll insist on finding out what it is.

hmm, I dunno if its just me and my insecurities or if its a natural human thing that applies to so many
other people(dna being 99% alike and all), but I just feel special and contented when every thought that comes to my mind matters to
someone else too and not just to me. yeah, God's so good to plant His little angels in our lives you know?
Just think about it. And the contentment with His goodness and sensitivity to our (unworthy) needs totally has
the power to overshadow every other problem or frustration in our lives. 
That's how much our sweet sweet God can do.

--

++love talking random realisations out with youuu. even though we're supposed to know it's human nature and all.
but still. there's this joy in discovering for ourselves, through the little things that happen in our lives. and having a
'go-to' person to have these otherwise seemingly useless conversations with.

nightt.

My Sister's Keeper with Hil today:)
loved it, cried abit.
managed to catch up a bit with the girl too so that was nice,
thank You God.

New car tomorrow hahah
Apparently I'm supposed to be excited right(;

Hopefully tmr'll be more productive than today.
Found out I've got Aaron on the cajon and Cyrus playing the guitar for me
for worship on sat. it's gonna be exciting! cantwait cantwait.
and we're up for worship on sunday again, so soon. looking forward to it though,
it'll be good.

Love serving You(:
thanks for that sweet sweet whisper,
loveYou

I'm beginning to see the value of not doing things online. like, just saying/doing whatever you wanna say/do to someone directly to that someone, face to face. it just makes everything so much more personal, and meaningful.

--

BBQ last night at church was wonderful:)
lovely company of course.
and good job guys planning it--Josh, Aaron and johnston.
And lovelaye songs and voice too of course aaron.

really man, i'm just in awe of God. and how He knows what I need.
And yes, yesterday I needed good. amazing company.
and He provided it of course.



and yeah was just really really grateful for that so I had to tell the world.
or whoever who reads this anyway--my world--thats all who matters right.
gonna get lost in a book now.
My Sister's Keeper with Hil tmr<3<3 can't wait.

all the best for chinese guys, love yall!
nightt

hahah was supposed to come online JUST to write this very inspired post then go to sleep but heh. so much for that.
fbed, and more interestingly chatted with chris online for awhile-twas nice talking to you too!

--

today was a good day. great day in fact.
celebrated chelle's birthday, more up on sunday itself!
the class--jolynn, chelle, pearlyn, rachel, shaun, chris, nic--was wonderful.
thanks so much guys, yall've been major blessings. totally completely love yall.
these people are just so wonderful you know?
great to hav conversations with, laugh and fool around with and just. be with.
Sebbie at the candeck these past 3 days tooo, lovely.
thank You God.

after school had to go to the dentist!
so lovelaye buvan agreed to go with me on this extremely non-exciting trip.
haha i just honestly hate or for some reason am uncomfortable going to the doc/dentist
on my own. always need amma or smth. didnt wanna have to ask aunty ann again so i asked
the fella and he agreed, so hurraye.
watched Love Happens after that then it was church for me and dinner at aunty ann's for him!

hockey match tmr! SP ftw~~
then its BBQ at church, can't wait really.
its gonna be an early start in the morning though.
but I don't mind, it's so worth it.

--
mygoodness, i just love how the most mundane things can become. experiences you'll think back on fondly.
the word 'fond' seems formal and all but it really does carry the exact meaning i'm looking for.
you'll just think about these random random times and just. smile. a real, true smile of contentment.
and you feel like hey, life's great. despite all the crap. God hasn't forgotten you and He's proving right then since He
decided to plant that smile on your face in the first place. He knows what we each 'need' for true contentment. our
every INDIVIDUAL unique desire. it's amazing really, especially when He shows you He knows.

and best friends. i'm the kind who thinks of 'best' as meaning only one. but yeah, people do consider themselves to
have a whole group of even four 'best friends', to each his own.
but for me, I've always thought of it as, no. I don't have a best friend, though I really wish I did (yes, it may seem childish, but
still.) i've just got a whole lot of really really awesome friends. but not ONE i tell everything to. quite literally, deepest darkest secrets
and all. and whose company just ALWAYS seems too short, since conversations are never-ending. someone dependable and just.
lovely.

so, you not gonna be able to fit again?
heh, I wish.

..think i'm crazy but i love this feeling of thinking i've found my best friend:)
haha good 4 u
hahah..surprised you didnt ask who
haha do I need 2

thank you,
and thank You too.
So much to be grateful for, night.

gotta be up at 7am mygosh, but hey guess a best friend's worth it eh(;

thanks eve,




<3

Got the most wonderful company this post-promo weekend.
Friday was Hil's surprise planned by Ryna(:
Hahah hil's prolly the best person to surprise laa, so BLUR.

Saturday the Prabhudases were here, had a dinner party, of which blowing bubbles out the window
and spending time downstairs at the playground with Hil, Chris, Deb, Vieshaalan and Ratheshan.
We were there for a couple hours. Glad the cousins got to meet the guys. We played with sparklers!
Hahah yesyes, reliving childhood much. Twas fun.


Us four-Hil, Deb, Chris, Me



the guys and their umm..triangle and circle.

More photos on Facebook!

Sunday was spent in church till about 3pm--really thankful for the time spent with the youth who're singing and
doing the percussions for Christmas! Thanks for sharing and being there guys, this thing's gonna be awesome.
Awesome for God.

Came home to bake a brownie for tea! Hahah Vieshaalan and Ratheshan were coming over to just hang out and
buvan toooo! yeah, the fella's finall back thank God. Had a good time with them, went to cp for a bit then it was farewell
to the two of them. The night was still young though, we still had Hil's midnight surprise which i'd been wanting to do since
way before promos.

It went perfectly, photos in Aunty Shanthi's camera, put 'em up later! We stayed up doing random things--chatting with neesha online,
bumming around, running around with wet things--stooopid buvan just couldnt help himself, i must've looked ridiculous thanks ah. then it was really getting waay too hot so plans for the hindi movie were destroyed. Went into the room to play Big Two(: hahah it was getting late and i'm nuts when i'm tired so i started sprouting nonsense. Hahha but i've decided i'm definitely waaay more fun when i'm too tired and not very conscious. Yes Buvan, lack of sleep def makes us high. sleep debt and all hahah. So yeah, we went to bed soon after--around 3 or 4 am.

Back to life though after this--PW and the piano are calling out to me. I could miraculously memorise the Prelude of my Prelude and Fugue when I started playing the piano--thank God for the encouragement, this whole diploma thing was really beginning to seem quite impossible. alright, off to dinner now, have a great week all. Love.

don't underestimate people,
cuz sometimes,
they surprise you.
there's always room for hope, you'll learn.

i've learnt.

and when they do,
its priceless.
really.

even though disappointment's close behind,
so what.
you'll learn to just feel like the priceless surprise
was worth it.

Just felt like writing, it feels like my mind's filled with so many thoughts.
feelings all over the place too. been thinking alot.
got to talk to eve on the way to the mrt ytd, one of the highlights of my day.
lunch with jo, bev and eve was wonderful too. and jess's bday surprise.
followed by cf with eve, jo, gloria and george. plus dinner after that.
cf was really good, love you guys, really do.

i love how God's love can bring people together in the most real way,
if you know what i mean.
i also love seeing people i love find love, it's beautiful really.
i love how i can trust Him with my life.
i love how He knows what i need, and when i need it.
i love how God always helps put things in perspective for me,
and for anyone else who chooses to see it His way.

--

this week was amazing in so many ways.
i'm so glad i got to talk about it with some people.
yes, special people. always there to listen, to understand.
hope, mercy, restoration, hope.

i dunno about you, but
i choose to hope because there really is no other way.
i dont see any other way anyway.
i choose to hope cos i know someone sees and knows my hopes
without me having to utter them.
that sounded a bit incoherent, but ohwell, i just needed to say it.

--

i love my family, i've really been so blessed.
wacky mother and sister.
too lovely cousins.

hahah, i've come to love talking on the phone till forever too.
and the best part is not even realising its been forever you know?
sometimes technology messing up just really works out for me(:

loveyou,
night.

Here's a devotional thats been sitting in my inbox for ages which i just read.
It was followed by a whole series of others.
God's just..i dunno..beyond me.

"If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you . . . agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends" (Philippians 2:1-2 Msg).

Relationships are always worth restoring.

Life is all about learning how to love, and God wants us to value relationships and make every effort to maintain them instead of discarding them whenever there is a rift, a hurt or a conflict.

In fact, the Bible tells us that God has given us the ministry of restoring relationships. For this reason a significant amount of the New Testament is devoted to teaching us how to get along with one another.

The Apostle Paul taught that our ability to get along with others is a mark of spiritual maturity. Since Christ wants his family to be known for our love for each other, broken fellowship is a disgraceful testimony to unbelievers. This is why Paul was so embarrassed that the members of the church in Corinth were splitting into warring factions and even taking each other to court.

He wrote, "Shame on you! Surely there is at least one wise person in your fellowship who can settle a dispute between fellow Christians" (1 Cor. 6:5 TEV). He was shocked that no one in the church was mature enough to resolve the conflict peaceably. In the same letter, he said, "I'll put it as urgently as I can: You must get along with each other" (1 Cor. 1:10 Msg).

If you want God's blessing on your life and you want to be known as a child of God, you must learn to be a peacemaker. Jesus said, "God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God" (Matt. 5:9 NLT).

Notice Jesus didn't say, "Blessed are the peace lovers," because everyone loves peace. Neither did he say, "Blessed are the peaceable," who are never disturbed by anything. Jesus said, "Blessed are those who work for peace"--those who actively seek to resolve conflict.

Peacemakers are rare because peacemaking is hard work, but because you were formed to be a part of God's family, peacemaking is one of the most important skills you can develop.

alot ALOT's been happening, let's just talk about the more meaningful bits(:

FRIDAY
submitted our WR, thank God we weren't one of the many rushing on the last day kinda thing.
CF was needed-thanks eve, gloria, jo and audrey. you girls are awesome, God-sent, loveyall.
Friday' bible study at church right after!

SATURDAY
gp pre-promo timed practice in school from 9am till around 12.30!
went to holland v for lunch with chelle, pearlyn, rachel, chris, shaun, jolynn, syaf, shenqi, lianne, han, pris. thanks guys, it was great hanging out so impromptuishly and i had fun(:

then met sister dear and buvan for coffee bean! started the whole thing by playing monkey tricks on me, which i totally was able to see through-i know you TOO WELL mister. hahah, basically, had a really really nice time. he educated me about f1 all the way walking to the mrt stn. yes, we walked there--you just find it within you to walk that far in the hot HOT sun when you've got lovely company, you know? i love it.
and now i love f1 too--its annoying how you're so influential sometimes buvan, hahah but thanks, it just resulted in an even more enjoyable weekend for me(:
so we went for cell, talking all the way, after cell we waited for debs who was having a pub mtg for camp. talked some more. then we went for dinner at cp. talked alot more. i think it's really really amazing what we can get down to talking about. really. everything under the sun. EVERYTHING. love you man. and i have a really really sweet sister. hahha yes, really. went to get dinner for me and all even though she wasnt buying from that stall! had to collect the food 5 mins later AND SHE WENT. so nice.

so i watched the qualifiers that night, feeling so pleased that i knew what q1, q2, q3 meant. and all the names of the more impt drivers and their cars. so pleased la really. called the fella up whenever i didnt know anything or had any qns-he'd told me to call anytime anyway since we couldn't watch it together, so i did. f1's really quite good, and that was just the qualifiers.

SUNDAY
church. worship leading, hmm..interesting.
lunch alone and library from abt 1.30 till 7! was doing econs, studying to prepare for my consultation. and yes, promos too of course.
was SOO excited and couldnt wait for f1 from about like. 5pm. hahah so amused at how excited i was man.
FINALLY got home and watched! called buvan for EVERYTHING, hahaha. so sad sutil retired man! but ohwell, Vettel didnt do all that badly in the end. and apparently i'm not supposed to like hamilton hahah--yes i was educated by a biased party what to do. so yes, was feeling so happy and excited. buvan finally called again to get some evaluation of the thing from me hah. found it quite funny, like a feedback form. yes i think random things are funny, i cant help it, i visualize/imagine situations in my mind.
fell asleep soon after.

MONDAY
was a really good day for me actually-was all bright and cheery and just HAPPY first thing in the morning. and you know what's the best part? there's no 'but' coming up anywhere! the whole day was really good. chapel was yet another reminder for me. mercy's now been added to unconditional love among other things. feels so good to talk things out with rachel, same wave length. so nice. she's a really good listener too. God really knows what i need. i see that every day in one way or another. PE was really fun too! hahah yes, class bonding time again, was good was good.
school ended at 1.30 for me, so i had lunch with the class, where we had a really interesting discussion, and then was off to the library. i really love our collegiates. so comfy to change into to study and they look good too. so yes, was in the library from 3ish till around 9pm. more econs for me, finally feels like i'm getting somewhere, thank You God.
He's been working out things in my life, relationships. its amazing really. when i opened my inbox last night after a whole weekend of not coming online, there was another reminder, two actually. devotionals on Restoring relationships. how apt really, how apt. i was just amazed.
Then talked to buvan for abit (hahah. abit.) and finally bathed and went to sleep! great way to end my day, a really good day. thank You God. so much. It was really His strength that kept me going. Haven't had that much positive energy in ages, really needed it. He knew again.

TODAY
the day so far's been good. school ended at 1250 since pw was cancelled! if not, i'd be just leaving school now(4.40pm) man. so very good, God gave me more time knowing that i felt so insecure just during math lecture just now about not having enough time for everything including pianoooo. 778bucks. must keep working at it. so yes, got home, read the papers, practised and just printed hist and gp stuff from the lms. lots more to dooo! and i've still got the energy to go on, thank You so much. this's what relying on You feels like and I'm loving it, couldn't ask for more.

On to the rest of the day! have a good week, love.

YESTERDAY'S POST THAT GOT DELETED HALFWAY (so i decided to abandon it):

today's jumble sale was pretty fun even though it was DAMN HECTIC(zongren and leonard were awesome help! and zongz was decent enough company(; throughout our double, YES DOUBLE, shift together) and definitely really tiring. came out sweaty and smelly after the whole thing but also having met many many people, and talking to so many random souls i wouldn't have interacted with otherwise, or even non-random acquaintainces. it was nice. i like it when people just forget about all the cliques, and status-image nonsense and just TALK to other people. i mean, that's the only way you'll ever get to actually KNOW them. so yes, it was nice.

the rest of the day can basically be characterized by 'awesome company'.

its just really lovely--and yes i'll probably say this TOO many times--having people who get you, and WANT to be there for you, physically, spiritually.

TODAY'S (which is so wonderfully a perfect continuation of where i left off):

extremely well needed reminder(s)

"..i guess God does know everything, even that we'd all sin against him eventually.
But the fact that he still chose to create and adopt us as his children in spite of that..says smth about his great love for
us doesn't it?.." &
"..It;s when we come to the end of ourselves and trust him completely with the outcome, saying not my will but
yours be done, that this sense of peace and restedness comes and somehow you know everything's gonna be alright,
check out Isaiah 26:3, Phil 4:6-7 when you have the time. Hang in there(:"

thank you.

and as i told you, i needed to be reminded of how much He loves me to be able to rely on that love as my strength.
i'm amazed how God uses the most unexpected of people to speak to me.
i think it's just great once people, Christians more specifically, realise that they are ALL part of this one same huge amazing
family, and that they shouldn't hold back what they feel like saying just because we're 'strangers' by the world's standards. since
when did these standards count for anything anyway? Like. really count. according to God kinda really.
probably, never.

so, don't be shy. you never know when you'll be blessing someone, or opening the way for God to use someone to bless you.

I"m glad I decided to turn to You. You're too good for me really.

"...And God assured Jacob, as he slept alone on a rock in the dark night, that He would always be with him as well. Always. “I will not leave you,” God said (v.15).

When we’re alone or tired or despondent, it’s easy to feel like we’ve been left entirely to ourselves. But that’s not true. For God is with us."

Definitely much needed after 9 hours at the library and another 4ish hours on pw.
I love You Lord, You're too amazing as I've said, and will always say.